20 January, 2013

Up Up Up

Who am I?  This is a question that has haunted me for as long as I can remember.  What is my mission?  Why was I born?  A partial list of answers:

  • I am a child of God (John 1:12)
  • I am a branch of the true vine, and a conduit of Christ's love (John 15:1,5)
  • As a child of God, I am a fellow heir with Christ. (Romans 8:17)
  • I am a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  • I have been set free in Christ (Galations 5:1)
  • I am God's workmanship created to produce good works (Ephesians 2:10)
  • I have been made complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10)
And yet, Lord, here I sit.  Once again, wondering who I am?  What's my purpose?  Are you tired on me asking these questions?  You've answered and I still find myself not hearing.  For my whole life I've had a purpose:

Go to school. Finish school.
Get a degree that you love.
Get a job.
Get out on your own. Rent an apartment.
Work hard.  Build a career.  Make a difference.
Fall in love.
Marry.
Have a baby.  Build the nest.  Have a son to carry the name.
Love the son.
Raise the boy to be successful.
Have a second baby.  A girl.  Rebuild the nest.
Raise her too!
Spoil them with love like Jesus loves.
Fall in love again and again with your husband.
Support your children.  Freshen the nest.  Attend all activities.
Work hard at a career and have career status as well as wife status and mom status.
Bear down.  Keep working.  Keep striving.  Achieve.

The nest is empty now and what once described me and defined me is no longer.  My head is bent down towards Facebook photos, Instagram, email, and computer words.  Perhaps my spirit is bent down too.  Kids leave the nest and best friends move on to new places.  Life changes, grows, expands. Nests get empty and are soon rebuilt...for others, for new life, for those who need care and ultimately, Lord for Your glory and so that your people will know and accept Your love.

So, I am standing up right now and walking to my back door.  I'm walking out onto my lawn and I'm looking up.  Up Up Up.  I want to see the birds.  See them soar and scout for food and then return to their nests.  Nests still open, still viable, still with purpose.  I'll be right back...

...OK, I'm back.  And yes, I really did it.  Today, there is not a cloud in the sky.  And the sky is vivid blue.  After a few seconds of standing on my lawn I begin to hear the chirps and see the flutter of wings.  The wind rustled the few leaves that remain on our trees.  The birds trust the branches they land on and they trust that they will find food.  They also trust that they'll return to their nests and find safety and comfort.  They didn't seem confused or in wonder of their next moment in time.  They exist fully in the moment....actually basking in the beauty of the day.  They innately know their purpose and live each accordingly.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Matthew 6:25-26
I know who I am and I know whose Hands are wrapped around my empty nest.  Thank you Lord that you hold me, that you lead me and that you tell me the one truth on my purpose: "Follow Me".