Will I Deny Him a Fourth Time?

I've been silent.  But I've been pondering these days of sickness, unrest, demonstration, tears and

anger.  Do you remember the days of "WWJD"- What would Jesus do?  I've been pondering those words too.  And I've come to this thought:


I'm convinced that I've been Peter most of my life.  You recall Peter of the Bible, 

31 Then Jesus told them, “This very night you will all fall away on account of me, for it is written:“‘I will strike the shepherd,    and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’
33 Peter replied, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.”34 “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.”
35 But Peter declared, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the other disciples said the same.  Matthew 26

We know the rest of the story.  Sweet, dedicated, loving Peter did indeed deny Jesus three times before the morning came.  And I'm Peter or I've lived like Peter.  Will 2020 be my "4th time" to deny Jesus?  Will I stay silent because I don't know what to say?  Will I stay quiet because of what people may think?  Will I stay silent because I'm ashamed?

Not today.  Today will not be my 4th denial.  Yes, BLACK LIVES MATTER.  Yes, I've enjoyed privilege that I didn't even realize I had as a white American.  Forgive me, Lord for not having eyes to see.  Forgive me for my silence and my acceptance.  Forgive me for not digging deep inside my own prejudice and mindset.  Help me realize the depths of racism inside me and heal me.  From a newsletter written by Sarah K. Yellen,

There's a depth of history of oneself that needs to be pursued, looking for clues as to when you have assisted, initiated or participated in point blank racism. That is a knowing, a deep exercise of self that has gone unnoticed in too many people, including myself, for far too long. The burden is not on black americans, it is on everyone else, on humanity, to wake up and declare that it ends with us. This systemic racism ends with us. The silence ends with us.  https://mailchi.mp/0c48a557ce6c/playnice-may11-4821345?e=eee9cb63f9

Search me and know my heart, Lord.  Give me eyes to see into my heart and my actions.  Give me eyes to love...🎶all the children of the world...red, yellow, black and white.  
Give me strength to speak up.   Give us all strength to speak up.