30 April, 2016

Oh, You Know Me

I found myself walking down a dark hallway, beautiful candles were burning, and light music was playing.  The smells were of lavender and gardenia.  As I followed my guide down this hallway there was only the quiet slap of my slippers and our whispered voices.  "Here we are...please take a moment to get comfortable and I will return to begin your facial."  Oh, the beautiful spa life...this was  a special day of relaxation and fun with my girlfriend.  I had anticipated this for several weeks and finally the time had arrived.  We were about 10 minutes into this experience when my itty-bitty brain committee came awake and begin to speak words into my head...."you realize, that with a facial ALL your makeup comes off!  You realize you really don't know these people you are with?  You realize you don't look really great without your makeup?  You realize people won't really like you if they see the real you?"  Ugh, I really despise this itty-bitty committee...BUT, I began to buy into this garbage talk.  My thoughts were swarming all over about how I could reapply makeup really quickly or if I could possibly get a 'partial/make-up stays-on' facial.  What a ridiculous thought as a gallon of steam was pouring down over my face!!!  What an absurd thought process I was caught up in!

It was in this great seam of frustration and actually fear....that I heard Him...I know you.  I see you.  I see you as I created you.  You are beautiful to me. I know you.  I know you love Me.  I love you just as you are.

I then realized that the steam and my tears were commingling.  I know you, He kept whispering.  Just relax and surrender to Me for I know you.  My tears were coming quickly at this point.  I knew there was more in this message than I dared to explore.

There are many verses in the Bible that speak about knowing God or God knowing us.  Ponder these with me.
You have searched me, Lord
and you know me.Ps. 139:1 
Search me, God, and know my heart;test me and know my anxious thoughts. 
See if there is any offensive way in me,  and lead me in the way everlasting.Ps. 139:23-24
But the verses that keep calling to me are from John 21.  I just wrote on this scripture several weeks ago.  Why would I be called back to it now?
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”John 21:15-17
I've always read these verses with the obvious focus on Jesus' words TO John.  But today....I hear a different message.  I feel Jesus encouraging me to state what I know out loud, particularly to out speak that itty-bitty committee....
You're not good enough, they say.
I say to my King:  You search me and KNOW me. You KNOW that I love you.
They say, if people really knew you they will not like you.
But I say to you, Jesus, You know my anxious thoughts, You KNOW all things; you KNOW that I love you.

Oh Lord, keep teaching me.  Keep teaching me to call out to you and call out the truth of your love for me.  Keep teaching me to let go of all the outward and focus on You, my inward, my love, my completeness.

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