White-knuckled Ramblings
So the dresses,
shoes galore, shelves, toaster oven, towels, more dresses, many more shoes, and
finally me and Sarah were crammed into our car and heading west. We made a straight twelve-hour drive mama and
daughter, fun times. We shopped in
Austin some more and finally realized our car was literally FULL. The next day, we unloaded and set up her new
place, her new home. And suddenly, we
were saying good-bye. Goodness
gracious…how could the years have gone by so quickly? My girl, the girl I had dreamed of, the girl
named after my mother and me…beginning her life. So many tears flowed that day of
good-bye. A friend of mine told me the
next week, “of course there is pain in letting her go, Kathy. This was a project God gave you 18 years ago
and you’ve been working hard at it for all those years.”
Jesus is praying
for his disciples:6 “I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you.
11b Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name15 My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.17 Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth.” John 17: 6, 11,15
They were
yours, you gave them to me – they were yours: Sarah. Sarah is yours, as well as Ray, Nick, my
career, friends and future. So today I
want to give them back to you, as they are not mine to hold onto.
Forgive
me for holding on so tightly that my hands are clenched and the knuckles of my
hands are white from strain. It’s fear
that makes me clutch and hold on so tightly.
Fear of losing something I hold so dear?
Is it fear of letting go and watching their backs as they walk away into
their futures? Fear of what’s next?
So…I
unclench my hands today and pray you protect them from harm, from evil and that
you draw them closer to you.
Fill my
empty nest. Fill my nest with your new
gifts. Fill me empty nest with your
people in need. I watch and wait with
eager anticipation, as You are the giver of GOOD gifts. All I have is yours – All I am in yours.
But
wait…aren’t we ALL called to the empty nest, i.e., to empty ourselves of
anything except Jesus? Emptying our
success, our social status, our achievements, our luxury, and our abilities?
For just
like the gift of children all of these “good” things are a gift from God. None of these accomplishments could we have
achieved through our own ability and know-how.
When will we finally, finally acknowledge and accept that only God,
ONLY God has given the good gifts in our lives? I know I still clench my hands
until they’re white-knuckled as I fiercely hold onto my “things”.
I daresay
there are many of us white-knuckled today.
Let go ….welcome
your own empty nest into your life, as He will refill us over and over.
