19 October, 2010

Eyes to See

High School Graduate. College Graduate. Graduate School attendee. PR Director. Field Director. Coordinator of Giving. Associate Director of Development. Director of Development. Executive Director of Development. These are all places and titles of where I've been in my life. Some of these labels I liked more that others. However, they all provided an answer to the question, "What do you do"? I liked being able to answer with a job title. Yes, I work. Yes, I contribute to society. Yes, I do something in the workplace. Yes, I have value.

For the last seven years, I have not worked. So this societal question, "what do you do," is not as easily answered for me. I'm not a career woman anymore. I'm not in the workplace. I've realized over the years that even in jobs I didn't particularly enjoy they gave me a sense of worth in the world.
This is a place where I struggle. My own self-image is damaged so I enjoyed the shield of protection a job title gave me- a title hid me. It gave me an 'I belong' or an 'I'm OK' stamp of approval. For a girl like me who has self-image issues this was critical. What would I become without it? Meet Bartimaeus. He had no title. He had nothing but yet He found his worth.

He was a blind beggar sitting by the road. An unimportant man, sitting in an unimportant place. He merely heard the crowd approaching and heard the name Jesus being spoken. Jesus was covered up with people, crowding around him, walking with him. His escorts, his followers, curious people, all sorts of movers and shakers, I bet. Yet, Jesus heard Bartimaeus cry out for Him even as others tried to shut him up. You know the story, Jesus stopped and called Bartimaeus to Him. And the Bible then says,

"And casting aside his cloak, he jumped up and came to Jesus." And....Jesus said, "What do you want Me to do for you?". He answered, I want to regain my sight."

The worth in Bartimaeus was not in his job title, his authority, his position in life. It was Jesus who saw, recognized and gave him his worth. Isn't this our truth too? Our ONLY worth is in Christ.
I want to become the blind beggar, Bartimaeus,
By Calling out to to Jesus;
By Continuously calling out to Him even while the world tries to hush me;
By Throwing aside my cloak. The cloak of worldly possessions - of how I look, how I dress, my family's good and bad, my successes and failures, job security, needs, wants...;
By Jumping into the day I've been given;
By Answering His question with 'I want to regain my sight'. I want to see again. I want to see Him. I want to see others in need. I want to see His will in my life. I want to see His guidance.
By Going....going into the world and sharing His blessing of worth.

Oh Lord, give us eyes to see...

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